All I know is I cry when I think about how "tiny" (technically he was a big baby but still much tinier (word?)) he was and how big he now. I cry thinking about weaning him. I cry when I think I should try to train him to self smooth. I cry when I leave him with someone else. I just thinking about leaving him when Mick and I go on our cruise in January.
For some reason in my mind NO ONE can take care of my baby as well as I can (even though I know there are probably many who can do a much better job, I am new at this after all).
I have decided to wean kenny by the end of year. Its scary. Why? I don't know. Maybe because I don't know how its going to go.
Mick and I go on a cruise in January. I am so stressed about leaving him for a whole week. I prayed for what felt like HOURS last night asking Heavenly Father to give me peace about it. I still have 4 months to go after all. I keep thinking "What if he cries for a the whole week I am gone", "What if the ship sinks and I die and leave him an orphan?" (that one makes me laugh because of how silly it sounds after thinking it), "What if he learns to love whoever is watching him more than me?", "Is he going to do really awesome things while I'm gone and I miss them?" (like walking), "Will he be traumatized?", and "Will his separation anxiety become extreme?".
I'm still waiting to feel peace. Maybe that is a sign I shouldn't go... Maybe I am being a crazy psycho attached mother?
*sigh*
This is harder than I ever imagined. What am I going to do??!! Mick really want it to just be us on the cruise. No babies.
I think I would like to hear all of your stories, advice, suggestions, opinions about weaning, self soothing, separation anxiety, leaving your first for the first time. Lay it on me! Ready Set GO!
You are such a sweet mommy! All of what you say sounds so normal. Weaning the first baby is tough...just go with Kenny's signs and you'll be ok. I started to help Mikey self soothe at 6 months...it was so hard! I felt mean, I started with only 1 minute and then I got better at it and he was ok, he had a snuggy that helped. I still have never been away from my babies for more than a night...we're planning a cruise next summer and quite honestly, I worry still about going even though my babies aren't babies. I don't know if we as moms will ever get over that...
ReplyDeleteGrandmas are only the NEXT BEST things to moms. Kenny will always love you the most--you will always be his favorite (until he meets a wife). You will feel refreshed and re-energized after a vacation. There will be no permanent damage, even if he seems a bit put out for a few days.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard... but your relationship that you and Mick have as a husband and wife is one of the best things that you can give your child. It's hard though... I totally sympathize with you. We left Leila with Debbie for about a week when Sam and I went back east and it was especially hard those first couple of days. Looking back, I wish I could have relaxed a little more and took advantage of that time with Sam. We were law school shopping, a cruise sounds much more relaxing. As far as weaning, I hear all different experiences, as for my experiences... 3 of our 4 babies weaned between 10 1/2 - 11 1/2 months. My goal was for them to go to 12 months, but we would get to this point where I felt like they were done and that they were ready to move forward. So, I weaned them and at the same time they started to learn so many knew things- There was sort of a mourning period for me, but it was also balanced with seeing more of what these little ones are capable of and seeing that they were all completely happy and it brings so much joy to see them thriving and learning and growing...-Erica
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